Terms & Conditions

Last Updated: When the last bag of FrydAir deflated perfectly in a light breeze.

Welcome, proud owner of FrydAir Premium™. You’ve inhaled greatness — now prepare to read mediocrity.

By accessing FrequentFryer.club, you agree to the following terms. If you do not agree, kindly exhale deeply and close your browser window with a dramatic flair.

1. Eligibility

To be a member, you must:

  1. Be a living human or well-trained AI assistant,
  2. Own at least one certified FrydAir Premium product (empty bag, crumpled packet, or garment),
  3. Believe, even briefly, that “air” could be a snack.

2. Registration Obligations

You agree to:

  1. Provide your name and email address (usernames like “Airy McAirface” are encouraged).
  2. Keep your password safe. Writing it in the sky with a drone does not count as secure.

3. Exclusive Perks (That Probably Don’t Exist)

As a Frequent Fryer, you might get:

  1. Early access to limited edition FrydAir flavours like “Alpine Regret” or “Mild Existentialism”,
  2. Mystery emails that may or may not contain actual content,
  3. Vague promises of loyalty points (possibly unredeemable, intangible, and totally meaningless).

4. Use of Site

You’re allowed to:

  1. Post in forums about how FrydAir changed your life (or didn’t),
  2. Upload photos of yourself lovingly cradling your air pouch,
  3. Celebrate airflow in all its forms — light breezes, heavy sighs, and Dyson purifiers.

You’re not allowed to:

  1. Use the site to blow actual hot air,
  2. Sell counterfeit FrydAir (we will know — we have sniffers),
  3. Claim FrydAir cured any known illness (other than mild snack craving).

5. Intellectual Property

Everything on FrequentFryer.club — including logos, slogans like “Breathe In. Snack Out.” and the Official FrydAir Meditation Gong™ sound — is property of Fryd Air Conglomerate International. Please don’t steal, remix, or attempt to NFT us.

6. Limitation of Liability

We are not liable for:

  1. Any injuries caused by inhaling too enthusiastically,
  2. Existential confusion from realizing you enjoy holding a bag of nothing,
  3. Marriages ending over FrydAir spending habits.

7. Termination of Account

Your account may be terminated if:

  1. You disrespect air or claim “oxygen is overrated,”
  2. You’re caught using FrydAir bags for non-aerodynamic purposes (e.g., sandwiches).

8. Governing Law

These terms are governed by the Laws of Thermodynamics and Charles’s Law.

9. Changes to Terms

We reserve the right to change these Terms any time we launch a new invisible flavour. Please check back often. Or don’t. We’ll just assume you did.

10. Contact Us

To reach us:

  1. Whisper softly into an eastward breeze at dawn,

  2. Or email: info@frydair.com (we check it quarterly).

11. GDPR & Your Right to Be Forgotten (and Lightly Breezed)

In accordance with the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), we solemnly vow to protect your data with the same reverence we show to our precious FrydAir bags — sealed, untouched, and full of promise (but mostly empty).

What We Collect:

  1. Your name (real or whimsical),
  2. Your email address (we don’t mind if it ends in “@cloudsareedible.com”),
  3. Optional data like your FrydAir authentication number, wind direction preferences, or favourite air temperature.

Why We Collect It:

  1. To verify your elite FrydAir ownership status,
  2. To send you emails you’ll pretend to read but secretly love,
  3. To keep your Frequent Fryer Points™ as inflated as our branding.

How We Store It:

  1. Your data is stored securely in a highly classified location, known only to us and a squirrel named Derek (he’s great with encryption),
  2. We don’t sell, rent, trade, or hand your data to shady snack companies, government or wind tunnels.

Your Rights (and Yes, They’re Real):

You have the right to:

  1. Access your data (we’ll send it in a PDF),
  2. Correct your info (because typos in air-based aliases are tragic),
  3. Delete your data entirely (a.k.a. the “Let Me Float Away Forever” option),
  4. Complain to a data protection authority (but we prefer compliments).

To exercise your rights, email: info@frydair.com or send a message via balloon post (delivery time not guaranteed).

Note:

By continuing to use FrequentFryer.club, you agree to let us very lightly use your data to enhance your FrydAir experience — which mostly consists of sending you absurd emails.